Respect...

Couple of weeks back I was fortunate enough to be included in a cricket friendly match with one of SA's leading clubs, yep it's a cricket story again...well sort off.
Being the strong club they are I've always been surprised at the atmosphere between the players.
The club I belong to has a totally different way of doing things and after the match I mentioned this to the club captain and he laughed.
While my "little league club" tries to do things very "professional like" these guys always give me the impression of never taking things seriously.
Another thing is that EVERY last time I've played for them, at least once a year since 1998, they always let me bowl and bat high up the order.
Utter chaos in my view and that was another thing I mentioned.
and just like the previous games he'd always answer with: "Do your best and we'll take care of the rest. It's all part of a greater plan so don't worry and just try and enjoy yourself."
I've had one or two shockers,but somehow it's always brought out the best in me.
I still can't really make out what the bigger plan was, but what I do get is that if I do see the bigger picture, like I always do at my own club, then it probably means our opponents does too.
Pieter, the above mentioned club captain, laughed when I told him this as well and I thought that maybe I'd been a bit direct in making my assumption, but then he said that sometimes it needs to be that way but only when bluffing but then there should be something behind it, but generally yes, it needs to seem utter chaos and as if the team doesn't even look interested, at least that's what's always worked for them.
Fine, that leaves me with complete trust in my inability to captain any cricket team.

Now on the next point was captaincy and what makes a good captain and here he made a point I never even thought about.
"Look at the guys I play with" he said. "Listen what they talk about."
Looking a bit baffled he decided to start at the beginning, obviously wondering if I'd be able to keep up, but smiling nevertheless.
"To have a good captain you need a good team. No one is ever going to be a good, respected captain without good , respective players."
"Ummmmm, okay..." I answered with a baffled look on my face.
"Well, say you'd put Graeme Smith, widely regarded as a great captain, in a club team of average skill and little self confidence that had ended the previous season on a low. No captain,no matter how good is ever going to make great players out of so-so players. For the most part the whole team needs to still do the job themselves. Under the greatest of captains any team that is unwilling to listen and do as is asked of them will still be a failure. No exceptions, if everyone follow their own head then it's 11 individuals on the field not one team and no team sport is played by individuals no matter how great any of the individuals may be. "
"So how about the whole thing of a group of players being as a team better that the sum of the abilities of the individuals?" I asked him.
"Well, forget anything else I've said, it's not important at all... What makes a team really a team is respect. Respect for yourself and respect for the guy playing with you and especially for the captain, not because he's captain but ONLY because he's the poor fool that will shoulder ALL the responsibility for failure but get very little recognition for the success."
"Okay so it's all about respect,but what is respect?"
So this guys only a year older than me,but somehow so much wiser, looks off into the distance for a second or so before once again smiling encouragingly at me.
"This may sound a little harsh but it's mostly about shutting the hell up and keeping your opinions to yourself. In a team it's about listening to whomever is shackled with the captaincy and doing what he's asking of you and doing so without back-chatting, mumbling or questioning him. You don't have to like it you just have to do it. And afterwards, if you really feel the need, to maybe talk to him about it and discussing decisions you maybe didn't agree with and just hearing him out. If he doesn't want to talk to you about it then don't push it. Just because he's a bad captain doesn't mean you need to be a bad "follower". And NEVER discuss the captain or his captaincy behind his back no matter how bad, because even though there may not be the best of atmosphere under a "bad" captain, this is only going to break down anything there is. And in truth I don't think there is such a thing as a bad captain, I believe EVERYONE ever given the job does his utmost and gives his EVERYTHING to do his best. Respect that if you you can't respect anything else. Another VERY important thing is to respect yourself as individual. It may be a team sport, but leave only one individual out and the team is incomplete. Maybe you're not the best fielder or batsman or whatever...but do your best at all times and respect that in yourself. Never place yourself in a situation where you can walk of the field and be able to tell yourself that you didn't do YOUR best. Maybe you didn't score a century or take a wicket or you even dropped a catch or two. So what! You did try your best didn't you? Of course you did! And in the end of the day that is what self respect is all about. Do your best with what God gave you and realize it. Respect yourself and others will find it difficult not to respect you."


I think he taught me a lot more than just about cricket.
I life there's always someone that's your superior and most of the time you aren't going to agree with any of his or her decisions, but go along with it and don't back-chat or mumble or show any disrespect, just do it whether you like it or not because in the end they will be the ones shouldering the responsibility and breaking that person down behind their back when with your friends or colleagues will only sabotage your self-respect.
How can anyone respect themselves if they don't try their best at everything...in no world is saying bad things about somebody behind their backs doing your best.
Keeping quiet and taking it upon yourself to not judge them and any decision they make is doing your best.
Even listening when others do that is exactly the same.
It's doing nothing and doing nothing is never doing the best you are capable off.
Make it very clear that you do not agree with what they are doing.
It's not that you agree or disagree with anyone but only showing that you won't be part in anything degrading or disrespectful to anyone.
Also keeping quiet and listening and afterwards telling the person involved is definitely NOT the answer.
Where do you think the saying "don't shoot the messenger" comes from?
You may think you're helping the guy by telling him, but most probably he'll feel like shooting the messenger and doing this will be disrespecting the group of people you're "splitting" on too!
Two wrongs most definitely don't make a right.
Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place!
Neither will consider themselves your fans.

So my message for the weeks is: Consider self respect in everything you do and forget about what you think is wrong or right. It's a lot more difficult to judge what is wrong or right...build yourself and anyone else you can up without breaking anyone else down.

AHWE