I remember you...

Since no one reads this I might as well spill my heart.
I miss you again today, Cynthea.
Just like any other day, just a little bit more than usual on this very moment.
I met somebody that reminded me so much of you.
She isn't tall, she isn't athletic and she is blonde.
Everything you are not.
But just like with you we fought about everything.
Sometimes I wonder whether it's because we are so similar or because she is just like you...
Then I realize both.
I would ask you what to do now that she is gone out of my life, but I know what your answer would be...
You'd smile, smack me upside the head and say that everything happens for a reason.
You'd say that no one leaves any relationship unchanged and that I had to think on what I had learned from it.
All I learned is that life is both too short and too long.
Too short to live down all the mistakes we've made, too short to make it up to the people we love.
But it is also too long.
Too long to live with the suffering we cause on those who love us and we cannot love back.
I realized too late that all you wanted of me was to fight for you.
Now you are gone and I'm alone and the only people I develop feelings for are those that remind me of you...

Who you really are...

So like most people you wake up on a weekday and you get up and get ready and off to work you go...
But what would you rather do?
You get to work and you greet everyone, including the boss, cheerfully...
I bet you'd probably much rather give them all the finger.
Work starts and like most places the client is always right...
But are they really? Are they right even some of the time?
Finally it is 5 o'clock and you get to head off to home...
If you'd just have stayed in bed originally this move wouldn't be necessary though.
If you're in some relationship the rest of the evening would then probably be spent telling your other half just how much you hate your job and everyone you have to work with...
Pity, fool. 

By the way: how was YOUR day, honey?

You live your whole life by other's rules and you pay for ALL your needs with money you get from some ass you are making rich.
In all this, who you are gets lost somewhere.
The more I try to find who I am the more I realize I hate this whole routine I am stuck in.
I want to get out.
I want to be free.
But most of all I just want to be ME!!!