The little things in life

I'm sure all our parents told us at some point in time that though money gives you security, it isn't everythimg.
It can't buy love and it can't buy happiness.
We all know this, but nothing is as earth shattering as the day you realise just how true it is.
The day you first hold that one special person's hand.
The day you wake up next to them for the first time and realise you want to wake up next to them every morning for the rest of your life.
You play over every kiss, every touch over and over in your mind, and it feels like you're flying when you think about them.
Your heart goes absolutely crazy when someone mentions their name.
Everytime you look into their eyes you see your whole future in them.
You dream about the children you'll have together.
Maybe a cute little baby daughter named Kara...that's my dream.

All this can be yours for the great price of...wait for it...absolutely nothing.
Free it may be though, but it doesn't mean all of us gets to be with the one we love.
Even all the money in the world won't be able to buy it, though I'd give up everything I own and more...

Point of view

Something I see quite often is professional photographers making all kinds of snide remarks about every monkey with a slr thinking they're a photographer.
Guess they're pretty close to the truth.
It takes more than a paintbrush or a camera to be an artist.
You've got to see the world in a different way, a way that no one else sees it.
This is especially true for photographers.
A painter has his own style of painting, but a photographer only has a button to press so he really needs to make his view on the world special.
Life is simmilar, I've found.
We all have sadness and hardships that cross our paths, yet there are those of us blessed with a view on the world that can bring most things in a good light.
I'm afraid I'm not very good at that kind of thing though.
A friend once told me that my heart may be in the right place and made of solid gold, but the way I.see the world poisons me.
And in the end I will poison those around me too if I cannotchange that.
A good soul is a weak soul.
I get hurt so easily and at some time I always lash back at it.
But I have so much to be greatful for.
God has given me an unlimited ability for absorbing other's pain.
I try to help where I can because that's where I find pleasure and happiness the easiest.
Maybe one day I too will be blessed with unconditional love and happiness.

You've got to live a little...

Recently I was busy with work one Saturday, trying to complete a real cumbersome asignment I'd been given a day or two before.
The week had been like a work week in hell and I hadn't had any time to complete it.
So there I was spending my free, personal time to finish work that in all honesty could have waited until Monday, so that I would have more time to do whatever other asignment came in during the week.
But why do we work?
Do we do it for pleasure or the income it provides?
Honestly, would you still work if you didn't have to even if you really loved the work you do?
Sure a lot would say yes, but in the end work is all about necessity.
Take that away and nothing is left.
Yet there I found myself doing work on my time just so that I had more time do more work.
Why work at all if you don't get to do the things you work for in the first place?
That's just pointless.
Spend as much time doing the things you love, work excluded you sick workoholics!
Get a life.
Get a hobby.
Get anything you'd look forward to doing/being with outside of work.
Live for that and let your work be nothing more than a means to an end.

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The side effects of a golden heart.

Where does evil sprout from?
Where does it find root the easiest?
Most would agree that such a place would be a dark, remorseless place.
I disagree though.
I think it finds its holding place most often where there is an over abundance of good.
"If evil is darkness then good is most certainly light" I can almost hear you say.
And you would be right, but then the brightest of views falls to darkness as the shadows prevail the moment the warmth and light of the sun abandons us.
There is no getting away from it.
What is evil?
Is it the absence of good, as darkness is the absence of light?
Is it the presence of malice?
If its the latter then the light vs darkness equation means nothing.
If its the first then can it be so bad?

It's in people's nature to test the boundaries of every relationship they find themselves in.
They will rip at the heart of a good soul until nothing is left but an empty shell.
There-in pain will grow and fester until it overcomes what was once filled with unconditional love.

Thus is the fate of the golden heart.

But inevitably the sun will rise again and the shadows will be replaced by light and the cold with warmth.
Eventually every good soul will find a balance between the light and the darkness.
Pain teaches us to endure.
Nature gives us no more and no less than what we can handle.
It sculpts us into the person we are meant to be.
That is the nature of the light.

Darkness, evil is shying away from the light, from balance.

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Without a purpose

Islam extremists say that a man that doesn't have something he's willing to die for does not deserve to live.
This is maybe a little too extreme but I agree with the general idea...sort of.
All of us are fighters.
Yet there are so called cowards and other people that are seen as not having any aspirations.
I think it's just a matter of not having found something you're willing or wanting to fight for.

With age comes wisdom

My parents always check mated me with that one: You may think you know more than us son but we have experience.
Now at the tender young age of nearly 30 I've finally realized what that was all about.
It's one thing to know that cutting off a finger is going to hurt and a whole other story experiencing it.
I'm a fighter against all things out of my control.
Age being one of them I always told myself that I wouldn't be a crock when I was 50 or so.
Well I'm not even 30 yet and already I'm suffering from my forays into the psychotic sport of rugby and a few other stupid mistakes.
Yes, I'm growing old and I absolutely hate it.
Gone are the thoughts of next year getting fit again and maybe starting triathlons or some other sport where you go somewhere not close by for no other reason than proving that you can without the help of the internal combustion engine.
Now it's just the realization that it's already too late that is left.
Dreams of tomorrow has changed to regrets of yesterday.
Now all that's left is to wait and see if the afterlife is all that it's made out to be.

A laugh a day...

I just love cricket and writing about it.
Just today one of my buddies, whom I told about this blog recently, sent me an email congratulating me on my "unique" outlook and telling that I should seriously consider studying sports psychology, because "every field needs a nut-job".
Far from being hurt I can't help but smile because I know he means well even though the words may seem to point in a different direction.
Falls in quite well with what I'd like to discuss today.
Once again all my inspiration comes right off the cricket field.
For some strange reason I was sent in at number 3 in the batting line-up, a position I've filled once or twice with reasonable success both at school and at club level...though not for Harrismith Cricket club because apparently I'm not good enough.
Anyway, couple of weeks back I was shoved into pretty much the same leaking boat and my heart had pounded like crazy that day.
People I barely knew had put their trust in me and I had hoped dearly that I wouldn't let them down.
4 balls or so later I was back in the clubhouse with a bruised ego, a broken bat and a dented helmet.
I was very much right on the verge of tears when the captain sat down next to me, put his arm round my shoulders and said: "I know you did your best and no one can expect any more".

Yesterday when I walked out onto that field for my local club, I was calm as death itself.
I felt that I didn't need to worry because I was going to fail and that's the end of it.
Nobody else seemed to feel any different before.
Hell, nobody looked surprised afterwards.
They'd set me up for failure.
And being the guy I was, I wasn't going to disappoint ...though it didn't exactly go according to plan.
Right from the beginning I knew it wasn't a chance to prove myself, but rather just a chance to prove that I don't belong there.
I don't care much for what was said to me because just like my friend in the beginning of this story anyone can say one thing but mean the opposite.
My friend asked me whether I think I deserved a pat on the shoulder and a friendly comment if right from the start I was negative, believing I was going to fail.
No, maybe not, but if somewhere along the line, after what I've gone through for my team, I'd gotten a friendly tap on the shoulder and a kindly, sincere word maybe then I'd have been able to believe that the move up the batting order was a sincere opportunity.
Such things go a long way in the human mind.

Destiny decided to give me a ball that would have gotten out anyone in the team 3 times in a row and in the end everyone just thought I was useless without even considering the ball.

If life gives you lemons you make lemonade...life gave me a short pitched ball so I played it for what it was supposed to be, but unfortunately it kept low and caught me on the back foot.
Shit happens.

Life is hard enough as it is.
We all try our best, but still the biggest influence on our lives is the people around us.
If the only remarks you ever get is about what you did wrong instead of how you could have done it better then you might as well not even try.