A laugh a day...

I just love cricket and writing about it.
Just today one of my buddies, whom I told about this blog recently, sent me an email congratulating me on my "unique" outlook and telling that I should seriously consider studying sports psychology, because "every field needs a nut-job".
Far from being hurt I can't help but smile because I know he means well even though the words may seem to point in a different direction.
Falls in quite well with what I'd like to discuss today.
Once again all my inspiration comes right off the cricket field.
For some strange reason I was sent in at number 3 in the batting line-up, a position I've filled once or twice with reasonable success both at school and at club level...though not for Harrismith Cricket club because apparently I'm not good enough.
Anyway, couple of weeks back I was shoved into pretty much the same leaking boat and my heart had pounded like crazy that day.
People I barely knew had put their trust in me and I had hoped dearly that I wouldn't let them down.
4 balls or so later I was back in the clubhouse with a bruised ego, a broken bat and a dented helmet.
I was very much right on the verge of tears when the captain sat down next to me, put his arm round my shoulders and said: "I know you did your best and no one can expect any more".

Yesterday when I walked out onto that field for my local club, I was calm as death itself.
I felt that I didn't need to worry because I was going to fail and that's the end of it.
Nobody else seemed to feel any different before.
Hell, nobody looked surprised afterwards.
They'd set me up for failure.
And being the guy I was, I wasn't going to disappoint ...though it didn't exactly go according to plan.
Right from the beginning I knew it wasn't a chance to prove myself, but rather just a chance to prove that I don't belong there.
I don't care much for what was said to me because just like my friend in the beginning of this story anyone can say one thing but mean the opposite.
My friend asked me whether I think I deserved a pat on the shoulder and a friendly comment if right from the start I was negative, believing I was going to fail.
No, maybe not, but if somewhere along the line, after what I've gone through for my team, I'd gotten a friendly tap on the shoulder and a kindly, sincere word maybe then I'd have been able to believe that the move up the batting order was a sincere opportunity.
Such things go a long way in the human mind.

Destiny decided to give me a ball that would have gotten out anyone in the team 3 times in a row and in the end everyone just thought I was useless without even considering the ball.

If life gives you lemons you make lemonade...life gave me a short pitched ball so I played it for what it was supposed to be, but unfortunately it kept low and caught me on the back foot.
Shit happens.

Life is hard enough as it is.
We all try our best, but still the biggest influence on our lives is the people around us.
If the only remarks you ever get is about what you did wrong instead of how you could have done it better then you might as well not even try.

Respect...

Couple of weeks back I was fortunate enough to be included in a cricket friendly match with one of SA's leading clubs, yep it's a cricket story again...well sort off.
Being the strong club they are I've always been surprised at the atmosphere between the players.
The club I belong to has a totally different way of doing things and after the match I mentioned this to the club captain and he laughed.
While my "little league club" tries to do things very "professional like" these guys always give me the impression of never taking things seriously.
Another thing is that EVERY last time I've played for them, at least once a year since 1998, they always let me bowl and bat high up the order.
Utter chaos in my view and that was another thing I mentioned.
and just like the previous games he'd always answer with: "Do your best and we'll take care of the rest. It's all part of a greater plan so don't worry and just try and enjoy yourself."
I've had one or two shockers,but somehow it's always brought out the best in me.
I still can't really make out what the bigger plan was, but what I do get is that if I do see the bigger picture, like I always do at my own club, then it probably means our opponents does too.
Pieter, the above mentioned club captain, laughed when I told him this as well and I thought that maybe I'd been a bit direct in making my assumption, but then he said that sometimes it needs to be that way but only when bluffing but then there should be something behind it, but generally yes, it needs to seem utter chaos and as if the team doesn't even look interested, at least that's what's always worked for them.
Fine, that leaves me with complete trust in my inability to captain any cricket team.

Now on the next point was captaincy and what makes a good captain and here he made a point I never even thought about.
"Look at the guys I play with" he said. "Listen what they talk about."
Looking a bit baffled he decided to start at the beginning, obviously wondering if I'd be able to keep up, but smiling nevertheless.
"To have a good captain you need a good team. No one is ever going to be a good, respected captain without good , respective players."
"Ummmmm, okay..." I answered with a baffled look on my face.
"Well, say you'd put Graeme Smith, widely regarded as a great captain, in a club team of average skill and little self confidence that had ended the previous season on a low. No captain,no matter how good is ever going to make great players out of so-so players. For the most part the whole team needs to still do the job themselves. Under the greatest of captains any team that is unwilling to listen and do as is asked of them will still be a failure. No exceptions, if everyone follow their own head then it's 11 individuals on the field not one team and no team sport is played by individuals no matter how great any of the individuals may be. "
"So how about the whole thing of a group of players being as a team better that the sum of the abilities of the individuals?" I asked him.
"Well, forget anything else I've said, it's not important at all... What makes a team really a team is respect. Respect for yourself and respect for the guy playing with you and especially for the captain, not because he's captain but ONLY because he's the poor fool that will shoulder ALL the responsibility for failure but get very little recognition for the success."
"Okay so it's all about respect,but what is respect?"
So this guys only a year older than me,but somehow so much wiser, looks off into the distance for a second or so before once again smiling encouragingly at me.
"This may sound a little harsh but it's mostly about shutting the hell up and keeping your opinions to yourself. In a team it's about listening to whomever is shackled with the captaincy and doing what he's asking of you and doing so without back-chatting, mumbling or questioning him. You don't have to like it you just have to do it. And afterwards, if you really feel the need, to maybe talk to him about it and discussing decisions you maybe didn't agree with and just hearing him out. If he doesn't want to talk to you about it then don't push it. Just because he's a bad captain doesn't mean you need to be a bad "follower". And NEVER discuss the captain or his captaincy behind his back no matter how bad, because even though there may not be the best of atmosphere under a "bad" captain, this is only going to break down anything there is. And in truth I don't think there is such a thing as a bad captain, I believe EVERYONE ever given the job does his utmost and gives his EVERYTHING to do his best. Respect that if you you can't respect anything else. Another VERY important thing is to respect yourself as individual. It may be a team sport, but leave only one individual out and the team is incomplete. Maybe you're not the best fielder or batsman or whatever...but do your best at all times and respect that in yourself. Never place yourself in a situation where you can walk of the field and be able to tell yourself that you didn't do YOUR best. Maybe you didn't score a century or take a wicket or you even dropped a catch or two. So what! You did try your best didn't you? Of course you did! And in the end of the day that is what self respect is all about. Do your best with what God gave you and realize it. Respect yourself and others will find it difficult not to respect you."


I think he taught me a lot more than just about cricket.
I life there's always someone that's your superior and most of the time you aren't going to agree with any of his or her decisions, but go along with it and don't back-chat or mumble or show any disrespect, just do it whether you like it or not because in the end they will be the ones shouldering the responsibility and breaking that person down behind their back when with your friends or colleagues will only sabotage your self-respect.
How can anyone respect themselves if they don't try their best at everything...in no world is saying bad things about somebody behind their backs doing your best.
Keeping quiet and taking it upon yourself to not judge them and any decision they make is doing your best.
Even listening when others do that is exactly the same.
It's doing nothing and doing nothing is never doing the best you are capable off.
Make it very clear that you do not agree with what they are doing.
It's not that you agree or disagree with anyone but only showing that you won't be part in anything degrading or disrespectful to anyone.
Also keeping quiet and listening and afterwards telling the person involved is definitely NOT the answer.
Where do you think the saying "don't shoot the messenger" comes from?
You may think you're helping the guy by telling him, but most probably he'll feel like shooting the messenger and doing this will be disrespecting the group of people you're "splitting" on too!
Two wrongs most definitely don't make a right.
Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place!
Neither will consider themselves your fans.

So my message for the weeks is: Consider self respect in everything you do and forget about what you think is wrong or right. It's a lot more difficult to judge what is wrong or right...build yourself and anyone else you can up without breaking anyone else down.

AHWE

Baboon blows his own bugle (Jakkals prys sy eie stert)

If there’s one thing I’ve been thinking about a lot for quite a while now then it’s about how differently everyone perceives the world.

Few weeks back my cricket club played their last game and I was fortunate enough to be “the hero of the day”.

It was probably the best game I’ve had in my whole life and definitely the biggest effect my performance has ever had on the result of any game I’ve participated in.

Sure I’ve played some great, even better, innings but in those teams I was always let down and I can’t remember a single game I’ve had a good innings in that we actually won...none that mattered anyway.

Back to the above mentioned game though: sure there were some real important innings before me that without which we could not have won, but in my view I’d like to have seen them do what I did had they come in under the circumstances I did.

They did their part and without their help I could not have hit the winning runs, but looking at it the other way round their runs meant nothing without me there at the end.

I am more than willing to give credit where it’s been earned but don’t I deserve the same?

I’m not angry, actually I find it quite funny how someone else can see a totally different view to mine.

Didn’t I deserve more than a passing mention where my performance was watered down by saying it was done as a partnership...funny...in that partnership of 22 I scored 15 of the runs...

Afterwards my partner also made remarks about how I hadn’t done much to win us the game...what a tainted view on life.

I know that everyone sees themselves as the main character, mostly the hero, in their own story.

This is true of me as well, but I find it a lot more fun if I could be one of a winning TEAM and sharing the glory instead of watering down others’ achievements to feel better about my own.

True glory is sweet.

Blowing your own bugle is pathetic.